Who Am I?

Who Am I?

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

         I absolutely ADORE my little sister. She is so so so kind and amazing and wonderful and beautiful and I couldn't imagine my life without her. She has been there through thick and thin and I probably owe her my life, as she has saved my a** way too many times to count. She is my little sis, and I may not always show it but I really do love her. She is one of the only good things to have happened to me. She definitely deserves more than I can give her. She is just so pure and kind and beautiful and too innocent for this world. 

Heaven In A Wild Flower

         I am a nature girl. I have always been adventurous and loved exploring when I was younger. I would always sneak away from family events and go off on my own when I could to see what I could find. I would bring back shells and rocks and flowers and twigs and anything and everything else I could get my hands on. I loved being able to feel so free that maybe if I tried hard enough I could fly. I loved all the far tails and sometimes I made it so that I was the fierce warrior trying to save the world. 

                                                          Where It Bent In The Undergrowth

         I love being able to show others that there are ways more than one side to someone. They are not just a teenager, they are a daughter, a student, a dancer, a wild spirit, a person who wants a closer relationship with her God. She isn't just a student. And being a photographer, I have the ability and the perfect opportunity to show people that. To dhow them that there are multiples layers and sides to a person. And that all you see is what they choose to show; its whatever act that they think they hav perfected enough to show people. 

Teen Spirit

       I am not one for social or public events. I tend to like solitude and being alone more than being out with a bunch of friends. One or two people is okay, but with too many I tend to become overwhelmed. That being said, it was a personal victory that I was able to go to the Homecoming Dance and be able to function enough to take pictures. I am a naturally shy person. I always have been and probably always will be. I was always called the quiet one. But just recently we found out that I have an actual medical reason for always being so shy and preferring to be alone rather than being around a lot of people. I have high functioning autism. And no one would ever guess that. No one would even think ti thin that I have something like that, just because it isn't as prevalent in me as it is in other people. But I do, I am, and I am not afraid of it even if it makes me slightly hesitant to speak about and to bring up. So I'll keep saying that I am shy and don't want to go out because I'm just too tired.                                          

         

On Aging

         I am an avid reader. I love being able to go to a whole other world through just the simplest of sentences and adjectives. I have the ability to imagine the while story unfolding right before my eyes and I have the power to make them out to be to my liking. Although I do have to follow what the author says about them, everything else is up to me. I have read autobiographies to fiction to romance to adventure to oyster to horror and everything that falls in between. I have a love/hate relationship with books that do nothing but at the same time do everything. The kinds of books that seem like your everyday lovey dovey stuff but then comes right back at you and makes your head spin and your mind hurts for weeks afterward. 

   

Making The World Smile

         I love to write. I will write just about anything. I have started a few books, although I never seem to be able to finish them. I love poetry. I have written in at least five full notebooks with just poetry in them. I love being able to make up my own worlds. I have always been told that I have a too active imagination. One day I picked up a pen and a notebook and just started to write. Ans write and write add write. And now I have all types of piety form happy to sad to ecstatic to depressing to all and all weird and wrong and horrible. As I have told you earlier in this project, I have always been a very quiet and introverted person. And I have found that I can express myself through my writing and its okay if people don't fully understand what I am trying to convey. I just really like to write.

Ain't It Something 

        I have lived in California my whole life. I have been to one other state, Massachusetts but for the most part I have been here, in sunny Southern California for the duration of my stay here on earth. I know most backways and shortcuts and back streets like the back of my hand. However, there is always something new for me to find. Just last week I found a hidden crevice down at the cliffs that I hadnt known about before. I am also learning how to expand my horizons. I have been kept in this state for my whole life, all sixteen soon to be seventeen years of it. Soon I am going to go away to college and I want to be ready for that when the time comes. 

Speaking Through The Lens

         I have always loved photography. I only just last year got a camera but I absolutely love it. Before that I was borrowing friends cameras and ever since I first touched one, I was in love. I had to get one for myself. And I couldnt wait till that hapopned. I got a job last year just after I turned sixteen in March just so I could be able to buy a camera for myself. I will be getting a newer camera eventually but until then, the one I have now will do. I have never liked being in pictures or having my picture taken. However, I absolutely love love love being behind the camera and being the one taking the pictures.         

Paw Prints Upon My Heart

         Molly was the single best thing to ever have happened to me. She was sweet and caring and kind and loving and adorable and beautiful and the best dog n the whole entire world. She was my world. She was the reason that I was able to get up in the mornings. Without her, I probably wouldn't be where I am today. She gave me the calming notion that I needed to sometimes just breathe. It was always her that I would be living for, as crazy as that seems. But then last January she got sick. She had four surgeries in the year 2017. One to remover her gallbladder, one to fix her back leg, one to remove a growth and then one final one to remove another growth. She had had healing and breathing problems even before the surgeries. So it was that last one that began the whole freewill leading up to her death. We had to put her down on November 14, 2017. It was for the best, or thats what I keep telling myself.  I was the one who suggested that we get the mass on her foreleg removed and that was what made it impossible for her to heal. But she was also at risk for her other back leg to fall out and she had a breathing problem and it was for the best. I love you Molly, and I miss you so much every single damn day. Hopefully I'll see you again soon. 

How To Feel Alive

         I believe that everyone has the ability to be good. I believe that we all have had the chance over and over and over again to prove to others that we are with their respect. I believe that we all were born with a clean slate, and we have the opportunity each and every single day to make the right or wrong decision. I believe that we all want to live no matter how much sh*t is on our plate or how badly we want to make it all stop. I believe that both men and women are treated equal and that the human race as a whole needs to get out crap together and make it all work somehow. I believe that we  have all known how hard it can be when you are struggling and that we all should help when we can because at one point or another, that was us. And we should all treat others how we want to be treated. Right?

Fin